Well, it's been a while since I've posted on here... I don't know what it is, whether I've been too busy, too stressed, too whatever... I guess I started thinking about how silly it was for me to write all my thoughts out for people to read, and how cliche it probably seems. But then I stopped and realized that if someone thinks that, they can go read elsewhere.. This is my blog, with my thoughts, and my rules.
I've been a bit high strung lately, for whatever reason, even in the middle of this amazing tour. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that we haven't really, REALLY been home since January. Tour, as much as I love it, can definitely take its toll on you. I've been adding a lot more movies and TV shows to the collection, which is always good. Anyone that knows me could tell you how much I love movies. Heck, all you'd have to do is look in my bunk at the ever-increasing number of cardboard and plastic cases taking over my sleeping space.
I've been thinking a lot lately about things. Probably more than I should, but that's how it usually goes, eh? It gets hard looking at yourself through the same microscope the rest of the world does.. There's so much pressure to be such a good person all the time, and it's pretty difficult at times, especially when you know that because of the position that you're in, no one's going to cut you a break. I feel sorry for celebrities in big bands and movie stars, I really do. I used to say, "If you don't want that kind of pressure, or don't want all these people criticizing everything you do, don't be in that industry." But the longer I do this the more I realize, those people are just that.... People. They make mistakes, they say stupid things, the lose their tempers, they have breakdowns, but the world puts them on a perfect pedestal, ready to toss them off the minute they slip up.
I can especially relate with other Christian bands, and what a struggle it is to be in one. There's so many people with so many ideas of what makes you a Christian, and what makes you NOT one, and they're all convinced that their way of thinking is the only right one. I get messages all the time from people saying, "I thought you were Christians, why did you do this, why did you say this?" It seems kind of silly when you consider that we all make mistakes, we all do things our own way, and we all have our own perspectives on things. I'm sure I'm rambling, so my apologies for that....
I guess the big thing I'm trying to get at is that instead of focusing on what screw ups people have, what mistakes they make, their slip ups, and let downs, the main focus should be on who this person is as a whole, what their faith is, their relationship with Christ, not whether they said "Dammit!" Some of my best friends are guys in Christian hardcore bands, and they screw up every single day. But they have a heart for the Lord, and that should speak louder than the mistakes they make.
I'd never claim to be perfect, I'm far far from it. Anyone that knows me could tell you that. But I love my God, and I try to live my life how He'd want me to live it. Yes, I screw up, every single day, but that's life. That's the struggle of being human, of being a sinner. We need to put our focus where it should be, not sitting there waiting for someone to slip up.
Blah blah blah, just felt like I needed to get that off my chest...
In other news, this tour is by far the best one we've ever done. I've made so many new friends, and gotten to hang out with lots of old ones. The bands are great people, the crews and production are all amazing. This is definitely the place to be this summer. The kids every day remind me of why I do this. It's so cliche to say "It's all about the music...", but I can't bring myself to say that. Because in this band it's more than just music, it's about the connection we have with our fans, the relationship we have with Jesus Christ. Yes, it is about the music, but it's also about someone coming up to me after our set and saying, "Hey man, remember when we talked for hours about Jesus and salvation? Well that helped me a lot in my life, thanks." I wish people could see just how much that warms my heart. God is showing me every day how He can use us even when we may not see it.
Can't wait to get home and start working on the new record. I don't think I've been this excited to write music in a long time. I feel like I have so many cool ideas bottled up and we just need to jam them out. I think this new record is definitely going to be our best stuff by far. Hopefully people will like it. (Pressure!!!!!!
I'll try to keep up with this thing more, and not be so lazy..
